Plus-One Etiquette

It is a question that every couple inevitably and invariable struggles with when writing their guest list: How to determine which guests get a “plus one” and which ones do not.

In many cases, guest counts can be budget-sensitive, and can also create problems when trying to keep events an intimate affair. There is undoubtedly a lot of pressure and expectations on couples to invite extended family and friends out of the sheer desire to be polite.

It is typically not proper to invite a guest but not their partner, regardless of whether or not you have a direct connection with their significant other. Couples that have a long-standing commitment to each other should be invited with this in mind, however if a guest is not married or in a serious relationship then it is acceptable to withhold the offer of a “plus one”.

If a guest RSVPs with a "plus one" when the invitation was not extended to them with this offer, every couple is well within their rights to explain that unfortunately you are unable to accommodate their “plus one”. Valid reasons include the venue capacity, the intimacy of the event and the sense of community you are trying to keep.

The rules of wedding etiquette can be very confusing, and often the edges of what is acceptable and what is not can be somewhat blurred. It is also important to remember that every wedding is different and while you may encounter this problem during the planning process, do not panic; your guests ultimately just want you to be happy on one of the most important days of your lives so chances are they will support any decisions you make!

Managing Your Guest List and What A Wedding Can Really Cost You

It would be lovely to have the availability to invite everyone you know to your wedding. From that coworker that you barely know to distantly related cousins and their plus ones. For most, there are budget restrictions, people we don’t particularly care to include, space restrictions at your venue, and other possible limitations. It isn’t fun to cut people from your dream-wedding list, but sometimes it just has to be done. Here is some advice on how to handle this situation:

When making your guest list, you should organize it into priority groups. The first priority could include your immediate family, significant others of the groomsmen and bridal party, and close friends. The second priority could be your extended family, coworkers and acquaintances, and friends and colleagues of your parents. Your different groups may look varied depending on who is most important for you to spend your special day with.

If cuts become necessary, make them group-by-group, this way you aren’t inviting some of your coworkers but not others, or some third cousins and not others. Also, always keep in mind when you are making your list that some of your guests will decline your invitation.

No matter what the number ends up being, make sure that all the guests are those who you want there, and that will help to make your wedding much more special.