It is a question that every couple inevitably
and invariable struggles with when writing their guest list: How to determine
which guests get a “plus one” and which ones do not.
In many cases, guest counts can be
budget-sensitive, and can also create problems when trying to keep events an
intimate affair. There is undoubtedly a lot of pressure and expectations on
couples to invite extended family and friends out of the sheer desire to be
polite.
It is typically not proper to invite a guest but not their partner,
regardless of whether or not you have a direct connection with their
significant other. Couples that have a long-standing commitment to each other
should be invited with this in mind, however if a guest is not married or in a
serious relationship then it is acceptable to withhold the offer of a “plus one”.
If a guest RSVPs with a "plus one" when the invitation was not extended to
them with this offer, every couple is well within their rights to explain that
unfortunately you are unable to accommodate their “plus one”. Valid reasons
include the venue capacity, the intimacy of the event and the sense of
community you are trying to keep.
The rules of wedding etiquette can be very confusing, and often the
edges of what is acceptable and what is not can be somewhat blurred. It is also
important to remember that every wedding is different and while you may
encounter this problem during the planning process, do not panic; your guests ultimately
just want you to be happy on one of the most important days of your lives so
chances are they will support any decisions you make!
